HARVARD — It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and young children all over the world are patiently waiting (very nicely, I am sure) for Santa Claus and the presents they will receive from friends and family.
But wouldn’t it be nice if some of the most valued gifts didn’t come wrapped in a box or under the tree?
Roxanne Daleo, creator of MindWorks for Children in Harvard, works hard to instill all year long that the best gift you can give your child is your time.
“It seems by the time our children are in first grade, he or she either wants, owns or has access to so many electronics and insist that is ‘all they want for Christmas,'” Roxanne says.
And let’s face it: We as grown-ups have all played on our phone while with our children. Whether it’s a quick text or a social-media post, it can be difficult to put the electronics down.
I’m guilty of it, and most other parents are, too.
“In the world we live in,” Roxanne says, “we all have chronic distractibility. We just can’t seem to be present. We need to unplug ourselves and start paying attention and start being more mindful.”
We all know that our emails, Facebook posts, Snapchats, tweets, etc., can wait — especially if it means setting a good example for our children.
“Turn off the televisions, computers and cellphones,” Roxanne says, “and make the intention, the decision, to have a heartfelt, love-filled moment with your child.”
Spend your time with your children — it’s that simple.
Roxanne suggests many ways to create those special moments.
Create a positive atmosphere: “First, get in the habit of acknowledging the best in each other and finding a clever way to make keepsakes, to make memories, and always finding the positive qualities in yourselves.”
Create something from nothing: “When I was young, my mother taught us about creativity by taking the brown paper cups from an empty box of chocolates and showed us how to make dollhouse furniture. Today, you can recycle paper-towel cardboard tubes and make party favors by filling them with candy, love notes or jokes, rolling them up in gift wrap and ribbons.”
Create new family traditions: “Whether you had great childhood traditions or not, you can give your child special ways to celebrate the seasons by sharing ideas, looking through magazines or library books, and developing your own traditions based on your heritage.”
Include the songs, foods and rituals that were passed down from one generation to the next, and you will be carrying on the memory of family members who are no longer with us.
“When I was young, I would visit my grandmother, who taught me how to make homemade ravioli and Italian cookies called rosettes,” Roxanne says. “Thirty years later, these experiences and memories still bring a smile to my heart.”
So this holiday season, spend some quiet time together, bake cookies or cupcakes for someone who needs a smile.
“Bring family back. Cuddle up on the couch with a warm blanket and some hot cocoa and look at old photo albums, make a family collage, eat together around the table and read an inspiring book together.”
Enjoy nature in the winter: Bundle up with your scarves and mittens and go for a walk in the glistening snow, go sledding, build a snowman, look for animal tracks and investigate them, and get some sunshine on your face all year long.
“Give your child the kinds of gifts they cannot get from anywhere or anyone else. Teach life lessons. Give the gifts that last a lifetime. You’ll be glad you did, and so will they. Our children are the world leaders of tomorrow. Ask them to tell you what they like about themselves, what they know they are good at, and begin this new year and make a plan to enjoy doing all those things your children love to do.”
It’s time to slow down, look up at the stars, say a simple prayer together, and make that hot-fudge sundae no matter how cold it is outside.
Roxanne is offering a free recording designed to give easy-to-apply know-how to take back the afternoon and spend time with your children. You are also welcomed to join her newsletter for more information and gifts and be entered in a drawing for her upcoming on-line course, starting Friday, Jan. 12, by visiting www.drroxannedaleo.com.
Got a column subject or item for Community Conversations? Email ccuddahy@sentinelandenterprise.com. Read her blog at blogs sentinelandenterprise.com/ communityconversations.
